With this blog, I promise to uphold the infinite sanctity of internet literature. To write about things that you could have lived without hearing. To waste as much of our time as possible, so we don't have to go back to our miserable lives. And to hopefully prove to everyone that, yes, it sucks to be you.
Life is short, and we don't have enough time to do the important things that truly matter. Thank God for that, because the important things usually require a lot of planning, and writing things down, and remembering to do them, and then actually doing them. So we fill our lives reading blogs, driving to Walmart at 6:35 pm, and then again at 11:19 because you forgot to get socks, and then again at 2:01 am because the socks were the wrong length, and then updating Facebook to inform your "friends" that you're busy doing important life tasks.
It's all too much. So I've decided to hang up the towel, and let others live my life for me. It sounds lazy, but there's another word for it. I just don't want to try to think about what that word might be right now. Responsibility is overrated. If the IRS wants my tax money, I'm sure they will eventually get it from me, and I won't have to do a bit of paperwork. If my car needs oil, I'm sure someone else will be concerned enough to fill it for me. Basically, I just don't give a shit anymore because there are plenty of other people to give shit for me.
So this is my life, and it's not exciting. You probably shouldn't even be reading about it because that's kind of nosy. But so is looking in my neighbors windows, pulling into residential areas for free WiFi, sifting through elderly people's purses of whom I have gained trust... So I won't tell you what to do.
So play it safe until next I blog. And if you're lucky, it may even be about you! But I doubt it, because your life sucks.
