I woke up, looked at the minutes on the clock, and freaked out. I dressed in under a minute, and ran out of the house.
I hopped in my car, drove three feet, and smashed the right side-mirror off of my car (once again). I was reminded that it was garbage day by the simple sound that a mirror makes when cracking off of the side of a garbage bin placed on the curb.
After driving like James Bond to campus, I rushed to get to my class that I thought I was late for. It turns out I was actually 55 minutes early. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to be that early, but it definitely makes you question your intelligence.
Class ended, I had a quick lunch, and I walked back to my car in the cold rain.
Content on salvaging the day, I decided that peanut butter cookies would save me from misery.
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| Take note of the green bastard next to the curb in the background. |
Class ended, I had a quick lunch, and I walked back to my car in the cold rain.
Content on salvaging the day, I decided that peanut butter cookies would save me from misery.
But the peanut butter cookies did more to reveal my issues than they did to comfort me.
And so I present the inversely exponential relationship of my attention span versus time, in an easy to understand flow of pictures:
And so I present the inversely exponential relationship of my attention span versus time, in an easy to understand flow of pictures:
Batch 1: “Holy fucking cock-monkeys, I really want to eat a delicious peanut butter cookie, so I’ll be damned if I fuck them up.”
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| Perfection comes with a soft, succulent center. |
Batch 2: “The peanut butter cookies from Batch 1 tasted pretty good, so I guess more cookies would be nice to eat in the future.”
Batch 3: “What? Peanut butter cookies? What are you talking about?”
This is why I usually stick to raw cookie dough- more salmonella, less smoke detector, and much more suited for my attention span.
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